Saturday, May 31, 2014

Reviewing Science Ninja Team Gatchaman:

This is an old article pending revision.

I still prefer the original Gatchaman series and I don't blame Sandy Frank or Gallerie International. It is mainly a narrow-minded view of "foreign" films and also an over-protection from violence. Even Looney Tunes and Tom & Jerry ended up with deleted scenes!

What a tragedy. I mean the way the series was treated, not the actual content of the series.

It was made in 1972 with impressive, and at times 3-D, animation. They worked very hard to make this look beautiful and high quality. Every frame was another matte painting. The explosions (and there were a LOT of them) were all painted. A few scenes had live action elements, while others are animated so well, it looks like Live Action. From the talent of "Speed Racer" (Mach Go Go Go) is another show by Tatsunoko Productions. It is done a little better than Speed Racer in terms of drawing. The first few episodes of Gatchaman show signs that they needed a tiny bit more practice which does in fact improve later on.

The music is beautiful. The theme songs "Destroy Galactor!", "Gatchaman's Song", switch places with each other beginning in season 2. The opening theme contains credits, and also lyrics on screen. I have watched several episodes, but most in Japanese. I have learned a few Japanese words! At the same time, the Japanese audio contains several words in English language. So they could have just dubbed it THEMSELVES. Perhaps the Japanese can only speak "Engrish".

The plot like a darker themed "Captain Planet". And really this show is actually GENTLE compared to what passes for "mild" today. There are numerous killings on this show. After all, it is a war series. But the killings are not graphic, and there is very little blood in Gatchaman. There is only mild language, and rarely spoken,  so it would get TV-PG. Each episode is well written, and is much better done than most of the television today.

Six years later after its original primere, Sandy Frank turned it into Battle Of The Planets, basing it between Selectol and Earth, but it is very misleading. Gallerie International animates more segments. These scenes match up quite well, but I wouldn't say seamlessly. Whenever they made new scenes featuring The Godphoenix, or any of the ORIGINAL characters, it is done well, but you can still see a difference. The show was hosted by 7Zark7, placed there to say "The soldiers didn't die. They are just unconscious." They retitled Gatchaman, added new theme songs, (but looped the existing soundtrack during episodes) At the same time when they dubbed Gatchaman, they dumbed it down.

Reviewing BraveStarr:

This is an old article pending revision.

I have to point something out. BraveStarr television series is simply called BraveStarr, NOT "BraveStarr: The Legend". This name is given to The motion picture, which would be better as a pilot episode. AND it is NOT called "BraveStarr: The Movie". I am glad that IMDB has this Correct, but Qubo and Wikipedia do not.

Also, I read that "source" which is an L.A. Times movie review from 1988. Some Critic. The person gets their facts In-Correct! The judge's name is J.B. Jay Bea. Jay BEA. Not Jay Pea. (The critic In-Correctly said that her name is "J.P.") The Prairie People obviously resemble prairie dogs, and are not simply "gopher-like aliens". Stampede is a Broncosaur, more than a "monster with bull horns". The critic called the meeting of Bravestarr and Thirty Thirty immature, as well as the name of Tex Hex. And also pretty much calling the entire setting a failure. The critic also blasts the special effects, saying that they make the animated characters look flat. The ENTIRE animation, layout, and background is EXCELLENT. If you are going to be a critic, you need to get your facts straight. If you don't believe me, watch "Scaredy Squirrel". But instead lots of critics only know about a few things about what they are writing about! And these critics are obviously biased, and perhaps are partially responsible for the decline in talent in today's "Entertainment". They simply do not like anything unique and creative. And Filmation has to deal with punishment because they aren't the marvelous Disney, which cashed in on softening (which makes "soft" actually look hard) Fairy Tales and is now spewing out live action  laugh-track children's sit-coms such as The Suite Life franchise. This ISN'T a Star Wars ripoff either! That title belongs to the well praised "Battle Of The Planets". They did not need to model it after Star Wars for it to qualify as a children's show.

I have watched this movie. It is excellent in both story and animation. It explains a lot of things that didn't make much sense in the show. But now I know how everything became what it is now. I know how Angus gets rocks falling on him while he is tied up by Tex Hex, a former mining partner. Skuzz forces his people into slavery. I thought that Starr Peak was a now-inactive volcano which fossilized Shaman's spaceship. (and I also thought that the volcano could have been created by Stampede) But instead, Shaman's ship was badly damaged (most likely by Stampede) and would not survive any more damage, and would unlikely be able to remain any more intact once entering (intentionally) the planet New Texas. The rocks melt upon entering the atmosphere and now Shaman's spaceship is now a cave. Shaman seems to be okay with this, since he calls weapons and technology, as "toys". The Prairie People, which appear to be the natives, are fast in both travel and repair. They lack general strength and at first they do not know how to speak English. (which was quickly learned) They rescue Jay BEA and award her with western clothing, The Hammer Of Justice (a gavel/weapon), and they repair her vehicle. (also the critic hates the Turbomules/stallions?! I think they would make a GREAT invention.) They repair it with Kerium, which appears to be much more powerful than Star Trek's dilithium crystals. Only ONE crystal can power a ship for a year. They give her more than one crystal, upgrading it to a "turbostallion", and probably give her an unlimited supply of free Kerium in the future to always keep her vehicle going...all of this for being the first human inside their home. Shaman creates the situation for Bravestarr and Thirty Thirty to meet, which is hilarious. You have to watch it yourself. Also, I like the scene when Bravestarr gets full control of his powers. Bravestarr and Jay BEA fall in love, and even kiss "on camera". There is even a moonlight. and we all get to see Stampede recruit Tex Hex, Fuzz, Sandstorm, Vipra, and many others.

Is this movie perfect? Not really. The only problems with it is: New Texas has a "sky of three suns". WHERE are the other two suns?! I did not notice them. The paralysis scene may be too much for smaller children. (he gets around with a scooter later, but to see him tied up like that and then injured) Also too much for children could be the kissing scene. The plot is written well enough for all ages to want to watch. At the time of release, this probably wouldn't interest adults much. But now, the children that watched this have grown up INTO adults, and now they'd like it, and most likely show it to their children. Isn't it interesting how things become more popular than they were when first released?

Also, we do not see defense contractor Commander Kane. Nor do we see Doc Clayton. They ought to have included EVERY character in the movie. Sandstorm has NO lines, and Vipra is easily defeated in every appearance.

I also have to point out that this should have been released before the series. Since it wasn't, and since Shaman said "The Evil has finally been defeated." (and it looks like exactly that had occurred) And because there was little clues that "The Evil" would return, this could be mistaken for a 2009 Star Trek film. (although Bravestarr: The Legend did not change anything)

The Bravestarr Franchise is nice. They could have made more toys, and those planned spin offs could have made it into production. I have conspiracy theories why Filmation REALLY closed down, but if I wrote that it would make this review too long.

Reviewing Dreams Don't Die:

This is an old article pending revision.


Dreams Don't Die is a TV movie that aired on ABC in 1982, and again in 1984. It is a forgotten film, which was released on VHS but has been out of print for a very long time.

It is about a boy named Danny Baker who is a tallented artist. His home life is stressful because his mother works long hours at a factory and she has an abusive boyfriend. Danny's preferred method is Grafitti, especially tagging himself "King 65" on subways (and I don't mean the restaurant). Filmed in 1982, the 65 is most likely his year of birth.

There is a girl named Theresa who does not have a family. She has grown up in orpahages and foster homes her entire life. She does very good in school. She is also a drug dealer.

A guy who is two years younger than Danny, but about six months older than Theresa, goes by the name of "Kirk". It is possible that his name is Kirk Gavin but it is most likely that Kirk is an alias. Kirk is a full time drug dealer. He does not attend school and is raised by a drug lord named Albert Gavin. Albert advises him to "retire" from drug dealing but Kirk decides to be a pimp. Kirk's "spaceship" is a limosine with his own television and car phone. He has a sly personality. It is possible that he does not know right from wrong. Like any antagonist, Kirk is an insane, hilarous, and even likable person.

Two more drug dealers is another teenager, an amateur, who gets beat up by Kirk after he let a buyer keep his money. The youngest is Obediah, or "Opie", who is a thirteen year old that kills pigeons and also murders Kirk's enemies.


If you like 21 Jumpstreet (It is supposed to be spelled 21 Jump Street), you will like this film. It has a very similar premise to 21 Jumpstreet. Although Danny and Teresa who look like teenagers ARE teenagers instead of police officers, they help a drug bust. In fact Danny insists the police captain to set up the drug bust.

Set in the 1980s, and filmed in the 1980s, this TV series is very much 1980s. It is filled with somber, suspenseful music consisting of both traditional musical instruments and synthesized ones. The acting, writing, and cinematrography are both excellent.


This is film was broadcast at least twice on ABC, as part of their Movie program. It was released on VHS but it has been out of print for a very long time. This film is mostly forgotten. Of those that remember the film, they have misunderstood it. Many people believe that this film is promoting vandalism, despite the close up of the "IT'S YOUR SUBWAY. Please help us keep it clean."


Danny needs to cope with his stressful home life. He does not do well in school. He has a part time job which he spends his money by supporting his mother. His mother has a job too -- double shifts, as well as overtime, at a factory. She has a deadbeat boyfriend and they have an infant child together. She does not approve of Danny's graffiti but Danny does not approve of his mother's abusive relationship.

After an argument between Danny and Teresa, Teresa said that she is going to leave NYC with or without him. Kirk, who lives in a part of the city where all the buildings have fallen apart (except his for example) is driven by a chauffeur to one of his associates. This associate is an amateur who forgot to collect a small amount of money. Kirk explains that if they let somebody keep even a nickel or a penny, their enemies will be taking everything they own, " limosine, and my hat. You wanna be taking my hat [too]?!" Kirk shoves his hat on the other guy's head. He tries to run away but Kirk beats him up. He says "...and a man protects himself." Kirk shoots at him and then he tells the amateur "Kirk protects himself!" Ironically, the amateur DOES end up with Kirk's hat.

Danny and Theresa are still not talking to each other. Kirk spots Theresa, who wears unfashionable clothing, is very poor, but very smart. She is hired by Kirk. Danny forbids this but Theresa accuses Danny of being a hypocrite.

An experienced officer, Banks, catches ALL THREE of them. He catches Danny first, and then he catches Theresa and Kirk. He says he is too busy looking for rapists to arrest Danny. Theresa and Kirk are brought to the police station. A court appointed attorney bails out Kirk. Banks tells Theresa to stay which infuriates Kirk. He says "They sent us a real turkey. Where's my regular lawyer, [you] TURKEY?!", once he is carried out by his court appointed attorney, he tells the others "I'm going to find my real lawyer. I'm getting him, and I'll be back, DOOOD!"

Officer Banks befriends Danny and Theresa. He warns them to stop committing crimes. He also wants them to bust Kirk and Albert. He buys them tickets to a very large art museum and tells Danny that any good artist deserves to be paid instead of vandalism which is washed off routinely.

When Danny considers Banks's offer, he approaches him when he is patrolling at night. They go into a restaurant and Banks buys Danny a strawberry milkshake. Banks orders coffee. He tells Danny that one of his friends is an executive at a publishing company and has arranged an interview with Danny in exchange for setting up a drug bust and stop writing on public walls. He tells Danny that he should learn how to draw comics. Banks tells the man in the restaurant "I'll be back when you learn how to make real coffee."

Literally seconds later they hear a gunshot. Danny ran outside and collides into Obediah. Danny then found Banks, who died shortly. The shooting was arranged by Kirk who got revenge because Danny painted graffiti on "The Enterprise" when Danny and Theresa were arguing with each other. The man from the restaurant is the only one who helped.

The police captain brought Danny in for a line up. Both of them knew it was Obediah but they had to free him. This made Steadman angry because he had to let the criminal go, and it made Danny angry because he lost his friend and mentor.

He went home to mourn, and then went to the subway. He rolls his eyes once he sees his tag but he got the idea to paint on a billboard outside of Kirk's house.

The next morning Kirk sees Danny's very first comic - It is an editorial. The editorial illustration has Kirk shooting Banks. Danny tells Theresa about the interview and also tells her that they must "get" Kirk, fulfilling the promises he made to Banks. The Interview is successful, but Danny almost vandalizes the office window. He is assigned to work with a woman that will teach him how to draw comics. Steadman tells Danny Kirk's birthday, and Danny also demands that the Steadman arrange a drug bust. Once Kirk gets over his shock, he orders Obediah to kill Danny. Albert is interested in keeping Theresa "employed" until her 16th birthday, which isn't for several months. Kirk then tells Albert that Danny must be killed. Albert tells Kirk to shut up, thinking that this murder plot will scare Theresa into quitting. She tells Danny that he must check into a hotel. Danny goes to an outpatient clinic to get sleeping pills to poision Kirk. While Theresa is "working", she offers that they go to a hotel tomorrow. For the first time we get to see the sly drug dealer in a weakened position. He trusts Theresa and he is no longer "protecting himself".

She adds the pills to his alcoholic beverages and keeps Kirk asleep for hours and hours. Danny sneaks in and changes the date on Kirk's wristwatch. The next morning a traffic jam wakes up Kirk who immediately spots Danny. Kirk (and Danny) are startled but Danny quickly runs outside while Theresa convinces Kirk "You were just dreaming. It's not real." Later, they quietly celebrate Kirk's birthday who is still asleep. Kirk sleeps until Theresa wakes him up on the day "before" his birthday.

Kirk and Theresa go to Coney Island, the place for Kirk's last drug transaction while he is "still" 15. He asks Theresa to do it for him but Theresa insists that the drug buyer is his father's boss. The man only knows Theresa, and does not know that she is a drug dealer. (It is possible that this man is her case worker which means that she wasn't lying. Also, Danny forgot to tell them that Theresa is part of the drug bust, and NOT the criminal. Either way, they would not be able to catch Kirk if he stayed in the car!)

Kirk took the bait and was arrested. Kirk thinks he is above the law but Danny rains on his parade. Steadman confirms that it is Kirk's birthday and his present is doing hard time with "animals". Kirk starts crying and begs them over and over again to give him another chance and "I'll help you if you'll help me!". But Steadman says all he is going to do is talk to Kirk about Albert regardless. It is unlikely that they will plea bargain. He is carried away by the undercover police officer. (This is the best moment in the entire film)

Furthermore, Obediah is brought to justice. He tries to kill Danny, Theresa, and the captain. But Steadman shoots Obediah and Obediah will be arrested.

Danny and Theresa will be interrogated by Steadman one last time for capturing these impossible-to-catch criminals. They still aren't adults yet, but they leave their homes and move to Manhattan where Danny is a paid apprentice at the publishing company.  

Reviewing Family Ties:

This is an old article pending revision.

An all right show with an excellent production company (perhaps a production company which is much more memorable than the programme itself):

There are quite a few family situation comedies that are very annoying. I was always wondering what this one was modeled after... and after giving it thought it turns out that this is a great concept. The sitcom is based on a generation gap and kids and parents never understanding each other. Even more interesting is that Family Ties is the opposite of All In The Family.

It could have done much better. This show almost resembles an updated 1950s sitcom, without all the 1950s nonsense and this show is made in color. This show appears do be done on a low budget and seems to get worse over the years. In the first few seasons it appeared to be presented to a studio audience, which is the source of the laughter. Towards the end of the show it appeared to have canned laughter.

The theme song is too soft for a TV show. I don't understand why they have a theme song like this, unless smooth jazz was popular then. Something else: The theme song is clearly about the couple... Hippies that are now parents. So why is this show focused on the "brilliant", "gifted", etc. son Alex P. Keeton?! But at least Alex P. Keeton isn't as annoying as that guy on Growing Pains!

In the middle of the series they added a mid-life-crisis-child. Sitcoms do this often to add a "cute kid" because the other children have grown up, and sadly we do not get to see these Cute Kids grow up. But this isn't the worst way to write in a child character. I think one of the worst is The Cosby Show's Olivia Kendall. They are upper class characters but then Denise marries this man who already has a child. Olivia's biological mother is portrayed as a lazy adult, yet her father Martin and stepmother Denise are constantly neglecting her and leaving her to live with Dr. Huxtable. (which she viewed him as her  coworker, not step-grandfather...quite adorable actually) but I am not buying that "Olivia's mother is all bad yet Olivia's father Martin is perfect". Second tragic example is when they added a child to the already-grown (and always grown) characters of All In The Family... Gloria and Meat Head Stivick. They moved away and they added a relative who's father abandoned her or something. This is not necessary either as there were no kids that she was "replacing". but they had to do something because half the cast left! A year later Archie Bunker's Place was launched because they obviously ran out of arguments between Archie and Meat Head.

On the other hand, the best way a show wrote in child characters was Roseanne. They cleverly wrote in that Crystal and Jackie were having children (but this inspired Roseanne to have a mid-life-crisis child herself...also D.J.'s squeaky voice made him appear to be much younger than he really was for almost all of the show)

To make things worse than adding a young child towards the end of a series: Have the child suffer from "Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome"! This is what happened with the new child character on Family Ties.

More problems with Family Ties: What is with the staircase on the house? That is the most landings on a staircase I have ever seen.

Besides the youngest child character, there is another that matured (mentally) and that is Alex. Alex grew up way too fast. Nothing wrong with being a business professional, but he acted and resembled of being about 25 years older than he really is.

And quite a few of the arguments between the mother Elyse and her son Alex are way. too. long.

This is a great TV series idea, but it can be very boring to watch. It is an excellent idea about a generation gap, and it is also a great political show that would probably get cancelled if something like this tried to air today. "Time Squad" got cancelled after an episode about George W. Bush, and "Boston Legal" got cancelled when Barack H. Obama got elected. Whatever happened to "free speech"?

The best thing ever about this show is the production company. UBU Productions. "Sit, Ubu, Sit! Good Dog. WOOF."

One final comment: Of course I DO NOT agree with the discipline method I am about to mention, but I am trying to make a point. I just HAD to say this. Perhaps if Steven and Elyse had spanked their children more... There, I said it.

Friday, May 30, 2014

Reviewing Yogi Bear And The Magical Flight Of The Spruce Goose:

This is an old article pending revision.

I have to write a review about this film to let everybody know that this is a very dumb film. This was made at a time when Hanna Barbera didn't make the best films and TV shows. (and they rarely did) Hanna Barbera was declining, and at the same time Filmation was succeeding. I don't believe Filmation's shutdown is a coincidence.

Also Disney was in a slump in the late 1980s with their motion pictures but they made several animated TV series. Just look at the artwork for Yogi and the Magical Flight fo the Spruce Goose. Doesn't he vaguely resemble Baloo The Bear of Tale Spin?! Baloo is a terrible character on Disney's version of The Jungle Book and all his dumb "Bear Necessities". He is much better on Tale Spin. Tale Spin by the way is a flight related seriesand I think that HB was trying to copy Tale Spin by making Yogi the star of this film. They could have made any of those other characters the star. Quick Draw McGraw is almost as dumb as Yogi. Also, Tale Spin made its own adventure about The Spruce Goose, this time in a plane called The Spruce Moose, which was a smaller plane.

HB's Spruce Goose film was much better. I mean, they drew the Spruce Goose much better. Tale Spins's interpretation was much worse. Yogi's Magical Flight Of Spruce Goose is very historically accurate, to a point.

The rest of this film is just another silly Hanna Barbera film. The Spruce Goose is hijacked by Yogi. This would NEVER happen. The plane would have been partially dismantled so that nobody would be able to start it. There certainly would not be be fuel. Oh. That's right. The plane is powered by Magic. But they did try to explain this plot hole by Yogi saying that the control room is fake and the flight is just simulated.

If The Flying Boat only flew once, and didn't get very far, it would NOT be able to travel across the world.

And even if it could, it would have run out of fuel.

and where are the police?!.
why wasn't this reported in the news?!
They must have just looked away just like when shuttlecraft are stolen on Star Trek.

The film is a lot more believable when Gargamel, I mean... Dick Dasterdly, ... I mean The Dread Baron
... appears.

This is an all right film about The Spruce Goose, but if you want to watch a HB reunion film, you should watch "Hey, There. It's Yogi Bear." or even "The Good, The Bad, and Huckleberry Hound". Yogi Bear and the magical flight of the Spruce Goose gets better after a while, but it is certainly the worst film that is about  Hanna Barbera's earliest TV stars.

Reviewing Sabrina The Teenage Witch:

This is an old article pending revision:

The entire story is blah when you think about it. Sabrina The Teenage Witch is basically about a growing person who is a witch, and attends school with all the school drama. Additionally this is a live action version of a comic book and yes they change several things... actually quite a few things! If you are wondering why this was not around in the 1960s when there were shows like this one, it actually was around but not in live action. The first animated version, (and I am not talking about "Sabrina: The Animated Series"...yes I know that sounds ironic.) was around at that time but they didn't make it into live action until much later during the roaring 90s. Sabrina's Groovy Ghoulies was equally silly.

And alongside having stupid 1990s elements in this version, they also added very dumb special effects. For the most part, the 1960s sitcoms of the same genre did not use special effects. Occasionally they had clouds of smoke and beams of light but they certainly didn't overdo it in the 1960s and even the 1970s. They didn't NEED to add special effects back then.

Sabrina's mother is a mortal and because of this (or some other dumb reason) they can not contact each other or Sabrina inadvertently turns her mother into wax. This was NEVER resolved in the series. and that sad plot is very dumb.

In the episodes we have a very realistic version of school. (They age every year, and after four years, they attend college) Still, you get a teenager with teenage problems and high school drama

and all of this has elements in the 1990s!! The boyfriend, and later (spoiler) Husband, Harvey resembles a stereotypical heartthrob of the 1990s, all pale with blonde hair and a giant forehead. Kinda Dawson's Creaky. And very very dumb. They break up in the later seasons and she dates men that aren't so Dawson's Creaky but she still ends up with Harvey. And this is VERY stupid: Zelda volunteers herself to be turned into wax so Sabrina's mother can attend the wedding?!

Let's just talk about the theme songs now: They are bad, except season 4. They should have just used Season 4's opening for ALL the episodes.

The first three seasons used this VERY much 1990s (and sadly, this type of low quality garbage is still around today) theme with very cheap production (and cheap looking, which makes the cheap production look even worse) and it is like if Dawson's Creek joined a garage rock band.

The last three seasons theme is a tiny bit better than the first three seasons (but still much worse than season 4) you just have to not pay so much attention to the "Oh, I am in college and I own EVERYTHING!!" attitude that Sabrina now has in the opening, all prancing around things like she is The Boss. And try not to pay attention to the superimposed images of Zelda and Hilda who stare down at the Bossy Sabrina and they have this excessive admiration towards her. Salem is not in the opening theme, just his name.

And so She married a mortal: Harvey. Will Zelda return more like Endorra, will Hilda return looking like Minerva, constantly disapproving "Hardley", or "What's-His-Face"? Or will Sabrina have a daughter, who is 1/4th witch, and is unable to communicate with each other for fear of being turned into Wax? Will Sabrina have a son too, who renounces his Warlockcraft after magically becoming older than his sister "Serenia", and constantly nag "SERENIA" to not use witchcraft similar to "Hardley"? Will they have to constantly worry about the spying neighbor "Gertrude Knightmint", who yells out her husband's name, "Alfred!"?  

Just be glad that Sabrina, the teenage witch has ended. There is too much unnecessary conflict and Sabrina marrying a mortal, (especially Harvey) is a huge mistake.

Reviewing Clarissa Explains It All:

This is an old article pending revision.

Clarissa Explains It All is on the surface a cheaply produced kids
program with various early 90s trends. The theme song can be tiresome,
but this is the type of music people listened to for that time period.
The opening shows a white background with all the characters. Clarissa
is trying to write her name and in the opening she can do things by
snapping her fingers. Among this is a drawing of a car, Clarissa shadow
boxing her brother and then snapping him out of existence, and friend
Sam snapping his actor's credit by himself without Clarissa. In most
closing scenes, (which is the opening played in reverse) Sam snaps his
fingers which begins the scroll. The commercial plugs have Clarissa
doing various things with the logo, including pushing away a "Ferguson
Explains It All" logo. The show is about Clarissa and her life at high
school and at home. She talks to the viewers about various issues she
is going through. They are usually mild but there are several that were
boundary-breaking. She finds success at the end of the episode. And the
writing, acting, and music are really great so please don't "judge a
book by its cover".

About Clarissa: She is an expert on computers and journalism. She can
not wait to buy her own car. She lives in a middle class household in
Ohio and has a very likable personality and always strives for success.

About the other characters: There is her father Marshall, and her
mother Janet. Marshall is an abstract artist and an architect. Janet is
a certified teacher that works at a museum. Her cooking is as shocking
as Marshall's building designs. Clarissa has a younger brother named
Ferguson and is very obvious they can't stand each other. Ferguson
loves money, and is pretty much a big shot. She has a few friends that
are girls but they are usually not in any episodes. A family friend is
Sam, who likes to climb a ladder to enter Clarissa's house. His father
is a sportswriter, and his mother is a retired traveling Roller Derby
competitor that later opened a franchise and became a sportscaster. Sam
is actually NOT Clarissa's boyfriend, but instead Clifford

Another feature I like about this show is Clarissa is multitallented
and one of her skills is designing computer games, and are completely
zany. Even better, I am quite sure her computer is an Amiga!!

I have lost count of how many hilarious scenes there are. You will have
to watch them yourself. It is almost always in a fantasy scene where
Clarissa describes an exaggerated version of the issues she is facing.
In these scenes you will see the best writing, music, and acting for a
show in this genre. I can give you a few of many examples: There is a
scene where Clarissa explains how she hates musicals. The depiction
introduces her parents singing about The Sports Section of a newspaper.
And then a chorus randomly appears in the living room. Another example
is when they all get sick, and are buried in snow. Clarissa presents
old school Star Trek where her father is an excellent Captain Kirk! The
House Call doctor that appeared earlier in the episode played Bones,
and grumbles and even swears. (Clarissa was the Communications officer,
who babbled like she was on the phone just like when she was babbling
on the phone earlier in the episode). Later, we get to see Ferguson as
an evil nurse and did a GREAT job acting. At the same time, the same
actor that was the Doctor appeared as a mad Doctor for the dream
sequence. And I will wrap up the examples with when Clarissa explained
blind dating catastrophes, which included among other things, the worry
about eating loudly, eating while talking, talking too much, and not
talking enough.

This really is a great show, and we ought to see more of all the very
talented actors. You do not find great shows like this one often, so I
recommend everybody to watch it and enjoy it.

Reviewing CatDog:

This is an old article pending revision.

CatDog is an interesting idea about two people with different personalities being stuck to each other. And they make it very obvious because one character is a dog and the other character is a cat, which are two very obvious personality clashes. While this is a neat idea, it isn't exactly original in any way at all (both in the premise of two clashing personalities being stuck to each other. usually this is seen in episodes of various situation comedies where people are handcuffed to each other. And also the character's personalities themselves aren't original either)

Both characters have a head and arms and are connected by the back. A creature like this CAN NOT exist. If so, it is extremely unlikely it would live very long. I still don't know why Dog hasn't eaten the cat half of himself. By doing so, he ends up fatally injuring himself as a result and ends up dieing also. And like I said before, They would probably not live that long to begin with. The anatomy of the creature would make it extremely stressful. Ever heard on the news (yes I know, it lies) of two headed farm animals? I watched one that was born and it was broadcasted on "The News" on a Friday and the cow with a head growing out of the side of its head did not survive the weekend. The whole thing died. I really doubt that a "CatDog" creature would be able to survive either, and if it did it would probably try to kill itself like Sheep in "Sheep In The Big City". (an individual sheep, not deformed at all, but constantly hunted down by several groups of people)

CatDog is ridiculed by other citizens and who wants to watch a show where somebody gets bullied all the time?!

And whether or not it is intentional, it is a rip off of another Nickelodeon show.

Everybody wonders about CatDog. How does CatDog go to the bathroom? I can answer this one. What one eats, the other one throws up. How can a Cat and Dog exist? You could say this is what could happen if a Cat and Dog mated... but I think that the end result would be a lap dog ankle biter fits-in-a-purse dog know... like when a Horse and Donkey mate and the offspring is a Mule. or something.

Actually, an obvious explanation is that CatDog is a costume worn by Ren and Stimpy. The costume is badly designed and there isn't enough air getting through to them and that caused Ren and Stimpy to switch personalities.

But seriously CatDog goes from being a kinda interesting idea about two clashing personalities (and the obvious clashing animals) being stuck to each other ... from being a rip off of Ren and Stimpy.

And have I mentioned that CatDog is completely disturbing?

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Reviewing Justice League:

This is an old article pending revision.

Justice League is all right, but it is nothing to write home about. And sometimes I am old fashioned, and this is one of those examples. I'd rather watch "Challenge Of The Super Friends" than "Justice League".

With Challenge Of The Super Friends, they did much better music than on Justice League.

The animation quailty? is actually the same. The animation for Justice League really isn't that good. Both the picture and the music have an obvious industrialized quality and I am not impressed.

There are only seven main characters, with more characters added on Justice League Unlimited. I got easily confused with Justice League Unlimited, while on Justice League... they had only seven characters and rarely did all seven appear on the same episode! It is like the stunt show "Sponk!" with four boys, four girls, but two of them not appearing. I don't like these rotations and they shouldn't have done that for Justice League.

The Challenge Of The Suerfriends brought in a lot more characters and also a lot of villians. The plots are all right and are action packed. I love the scene changes (or whatever they are called) where three stars, missiles, or whatever ... flash towards the screen.

Some of the stories of Justice League are very stupid. But there are several others that are great. The feel of Justice League is not Action Packed like The Challenge Of The Superfriends, but instead it has a darker feel similar to most versions of Batman shows. (and Batman appears to be a very important character in this show) Other characters are Jon Jones (I know that is not how to spell his name) and his super hero name is "The Martian Manhunter". His family and I think the rest of his civilization were killed. He kinda resembles a humanoid lizard but can shapeshift into more human-like. He is another "dark" character. Another Green Lantern, this time a tough, and often grouchy, African American adds to the other characters that are dark, mellow, and serious.

"The Flash" is the most comedic of the entire group. Superman is about average. So is Diana or "Wonder Woman". I still like the earlier Wonder Woman with the more powerful voice. Although they talked a lot more about her background (and on the other hand on SuperFriends she pretty much only says "Great Hera!", which the producers "got away with" because they can explain it as an alternative to "Great Scott!") If I could compare Justice League with Star Trek, the Justice League version of Wonder Woman is VERY similar to Deanna Troi. Also Wonder Woman in Justice League can fly. That is the best thing about her in this series because she should have always been able to fly.

Now there is HawkGirl, and I think she is the best in the character

Reviewing Spliced:

This is an old article pending revision.

This is a program that you don't want to watch while eating...unless you are a cannibal. Spliced is another example of what Not to watch on television, and what not to produce on television. I became aware of the existence of Spliced last year on the 24 hour Qubo digital subchannel which aired on the middle of the night. It was pulled from the station, along with Being Ian and Class Of The Titans. One year later, these three programs returned, with Being Ian and Class of the Titans being pulled about one week later. Spliced is still on Qubo channel. It is being grouped with a programming block "Night Owl", with four Filmation programs "to bring out the kid in all of us", and Sitting Ducks. The other programs don't contain ANY adult content, or anything that needs to say "parental advisory" or "viewer discretion is advised". I think programs that have badly designed characters need to be a reason to warrant them a TV14 Rating, for example. Also, the programs with a "viewer discretion advised", and "parental discretion advised", warning messages on them. Spliced is along with the categories of CatDog, and also ...err, "The Oblongs", and I am honest enough to warn you in advance (and substitute the letters with symbols) ... "@$$y mcgee". these are badly designed characters, that would all work well in Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. none of these programs, inlcuding Spliced, belong on Qubo!! I like drawing and animating, and I look at the production quality and other things on animated series. My parenting styles would match Babar The Elephant. And I recommend most of the programs on Qubo, along with Your Baby Can Read, but I don't recommend Spliced. Many of these programs are Family-Friendly and for any age to watch and enjoy. Spiced is not one of them. I don't know why Sitting Ducks is on Night Owl...perhaps it is because the issue of ducks being eaten by the alligators. The Filmation programs are not adult-content cartoons, and they are not badly designed. Filmation programs are examples of high quality animated programs that you don't find being produced anymore. Instead, there is a very simple, badly drawn, crude humor, overuse of crude humor, over-promoting, too many commercials, to name a few of the problems with Spliced. Being Ian and Class of the Titans are both gone again. Why isn't Spliced?!

Reviewing The Powerpuff Girls:

This is an old article pending revision.

This show is basically cheap entertainment. Many cartoons of the 1990s became more cartooney and lower quality than ever before. And they have a lasting effect because cartoons to this day are just as low quality and disgusting.

Some of these episodes are quite mild and funny and even well written. I love episodes such as the time that Mojo JoJo kidnapped Professor Utonium (He is with me, but not by choice. I took him, and he didn't like it!) and that episode is filled with suspenseful Ron Jones-style music... the episode when Bubbles acts tougher, an episode when Bubbles acts like Mojo Jojo, and a goofy episode when Him forces The Powerpuff Girls to solve various riddles "or The Professor will pay".

On the other hand, and this is what caused me to give this show a low rating, is because certain episodes are VERY disturbing. The episode where Buttercup refuses to take a bath. (And I was thinking she is destined to be a lesbian) ...also Blossom and Bubbles were already in the same tub at the same time. I don't care if they are young sisters, this is not appropriate. And then they showed an episode where the villians arms were ripped off. And then in the same episode they showed a dog sniffing another dog's butt, and they even drew its anus.

And it took 33 years to dub Gatchaman I uncut into English. The violence in Gatchaman I is quite mild in comparison to the graphic violence in The Powerpuff Girls. And Gatchaman uncut STILL has not appeared on television in the USA! Sorry but I don't remember any amputations and butt sniffing in Gatchaman I.

As for The PowerPuff Girls the animation is very low quality. And this is NOT a groundbreaking show about female superheroes. Ever hear of Wonder Woman? And what about She-Ra? These two have well written episodes with an actual plot.

The PowerPuff Girls show? Aside from Mojo Jojo being Professor's former lab assistant and a flamboyant devil creature, this show is plotless. Most of the villians are either jealous of The PowerPuff Girls's popularity or are giant monsters pointlessly destroying a hick town which at one time had a volcano. "The City Of Townsville" could possibly be inspired from Queensland.

Also I am impressed with Mojo Jojo. He is a Japanese monkey and is the perfect comic villian.

But you really need to be careful with The Powerpuff Girls. Some episodes are all right, others are dull, and some are very disturbing. This show needs to have a different rating and it qualifies for Adult Swim.

Reviewing Supermarket Sweep:

This is an old article pending revision.

Supermarket Sweep is a nice game show with classic banter and "you have
to know something to be able to win". At the same time, it is extremely

The setting is inspired by a common supermarket (with an exaggerated
opening, such as "This mother and daughter had a GREAT time!" ... "How
many game show hosts get to hear the words: 'I love you.' ? " ) but the
setting is very interesting. At the same time, It would mainly interest
women. Indeed, it was on "Lifetime: Television For Women". The male contestants look stoned. As fun as it would be to run through a supermarket game show, I would not want to be
filmed with an announcer commenting. (I also wouldn't want to wear a
sweatshirt while running!) At the same time, the music is repetitive
and outdated even for a game show. It is music commonly heard in the
1980s commercials but not on game shows.

The $5,000.00 USD prize is very much outdated.

Otherwise this is a great game show. It is hosted by David Ruprect,
whose character on Three's Company is Janet Wood's boyfriend/husband.

This game show is very fast paced. You will have completed watching an
episode before you know it. The game show is filled with numerous word
games that are grocery-themed. You get time added for The Big Sweep. One shopper grabs items while the other does things like build a tower of cans. In The Big Sweep, you get to do various tasks that are quite interesting. Among them are bread, coffee, candy, fruit, popcorn, jelly beans, donuts, ice cream, (or something) and... making a giant deli sandwich. These are very interesting things to do for extra points. There is also a movie section and GIANT inflatable bonus items. The rest of the time of The Big Sweep needs to be used by filling up numerous shopping baskets with lots of items (up to 5 each, and you can't knock anything over) and in real life I try NOT to make the total as large as possible! When The Big Sweep is finished, The Invisible Cashiers scan the items.

And then the team that in real life would have gone broke while
shopping, they look for three clues and try to find a plastic $5,000.00

In conclusion this is a very nice game show for anybody to watch.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Reviewing Winning Lines:

This is an old article pending revision.

I like this game show but it shows clear signs of the decline of game shows. Prime Time game shows often drive me crazy, with the exception of the prime time versions of The Price Is Right. I don't like most Prime Time game shows because they are annoying. Winning Lines contains constant music playing, the usual prime time "suspense" music. That is probably my biggest gripe about this show. The added music, because people now need the music to stay entertained. They struggle with paying attention unless they are stoned.

Something else: You can't keep a show like this on today because the amount of stupid people are increasing. And they are more than willing to do stupid things on television for a chance to win money.

This game show requires a lot of intelligence. And even more important, you have to know the answer INSTANTLY. They have an enormous set because they start out with 49 contestants. The FIRST correct response gets to go onto the next round.

There are six contestants on the next round. They have to once again, answer first. They eliminate themself if they end up guessing the wrong answer. If they get the correct answer (which is always in the form of a number, and is is always in the answer of one of the contestants assigned number) then somebody else gets eliminated, but they each get a small cash prize.

The Wonder Wall is the last segment. The segment itself is timed, and each answer is timed. And guess what: They try to win one million dollars! Of course! Many prime time game shows are just a quick competition to win one million dollars, and they are all dumb and impossible to win. The answers are not a number, but they are grouped with a number.

The last number assigned to the six contestants from the second round, and the last number assigned to the last correct answer guessed, combines in any order (excluding area code) of either their home phone or "personal cell phone", or even somebody that they know. They can call from that number to be eligible for $50,000.00 USD.

What got my attention the most was the host Dick Clark. He one of the legendary game show hosts that was (at the time) still alive. (Bill Cullen and Bert Convy died almost ten years earler) and so they picked Dick Clark. He is the host of several versions of Pyramid. I think Dick became ill before, but now reappeared for Winning Lines. Winning Lines still got cancelled.

Reviewing The Butter Cream Gang:

This is an old article pending revision.

This is one of Feature Films For Families original films.
I am sure that FFFF had nice intentions with this film, but they had terrible acting and the entire film doesn't make sense.

Basically, a small group of kids that swear (but isn't swearing "evil"?) to do good no matter what. but something kinda bad happened to one of them which disrupted the entire group. He didn't get sick &/or die which would have made MUCH more sense (but still be depressing to watch the film) ... but instead he moved away. and the new leader struggles to keep the group out of trouble. Apparently, the kid that moved away is getting into trouble himself.

This very basic plot made me give this movie a chance, despite the annoying "Butter Cream Gang" title, that I really doubt that Gangs ever would call themselves a "butter cream gang", or "buttercreamers", and that concept is as outdated as Dennis The Menace speaking for Dairy Queen. Also the video cover has this shivering image of three boys holding a fourth boy. and they are all smiling. Who smiles? That much?! ESPECIALLY when three guys are carrying another guy?!

so I watch the film and I notice the terrible acting and the dull and stereotypical family film plot (a rural setting?!) and then I think about this film a little more.

Why is it so bad to move to a big city?! Big cities are NOT the only source of evil. It seems to be worse in the "country"! It is quite worse than sweeping porches and Old Mother Hubbards  (I mean Widow Tweeds... not any neglectful dog owners) The country is even worse than Widow Tweeds fallng and being unable to get up.

The big city has many more opportunities for people. And there is NOTHING wrong with cities for this reason. and that reason is good enough. These rural slobs are just skeered of new things and ways of life. They are set in their ways. And butter is not very healthy. just stop churning it.

I am not going to be completely ignorant and say that the film's setting is in a town so backwards that it resembles the 1940s or whenever. ...because I am guessing that IS the time period of this film.

by the way this film doesn't have a satisfactory ending. It's like FFFF forgot to conclude the film, and they added it at the last minute.

This is a disasterous FFFF Film. Remember that FFFF is notorious for dubbing "foreign films" and anything that is even SLIGHTLY violent, they edit it and change the plot. With Lolo The Penguin, they turn it from a beautiful family film to a sappy preschool film with several deleted scenes. (but this was tradition with foreign films) Also, FFFF is well known for its telemarketing and movie clubs and just annoyingly being an annoying annoyance. and that annoys me.

And when FFFF attempts to make their own films, they are quite dumb. I don't recommend that you watch FFFF's The Butter Cream Gang. Instead, I recommend you watch Rigoletto.

Reviewing The Dollmaker:

This is an old article pending revision.

This is an extremely dumb movie. The acting is good, but the entire movie is terrible. It simply cries out "reading assignment" for school. I was never assigned this book but I still don't like the idea that young students are forced to read these tragedies. This, for some reason, was presented in an art class. Perhaps it is because the woman (played by Jane Fonda) makes wooden dolls for a living.

This is about as relevant to art class as showing CSI in science class.

This film is about a large family, one of which at the very beginning of this film that needed to be Trached...was choking and the mother cut in the child's throat and stuck a straw inside. The Dollmaker is set in The Great Depression where some hillbillies from Kentucky move to find work. The husband gets a job with the auto union. Things are just as bad living in "The City" because they are living in a factory shack by a large amount of railroads. The guy ends up going on strike, being laid off, etc. One of the woman's ways to cope is to carve out of a chunk of wood. And then a girl dies due to being run over by a train that is connecting a freight box car. The death is actually a slow and painful one. During the mother's grieving process she focuses only on carving from the wood, until she finished her carving of Jesus.

And then she begins making dolls to return home for whatever reason. She runs out of wood. Instead of Looking for MORE wood... walking around, finding a giant tree branch that has fallen, or perhaps... she uses the axe that she has, and cuts down a tree branch or perhaps an entire tree?! but no... instead, she attacks her masterpiece of Jesus wooden statue and destroys it. quite CHEERFULLY. I am surprised that this film is not banned by religious groups. This is a serious plot hole. If she had the axe to chop her statue, then why not just cut down a TREE?!

and then they return to Kentucky and continue to live unhappily ever after. She probably made a living being a famous dollmaker, but why did she not do this years ago?!

This is a dumb film and I am surprised that this was on ABC during the Star Tunnel era.

Reviewing Titanic:

This is an old article pending revision.

People everywhere must know that this is supposed to be a historical event that occurred in 1912, and NOT in 1997. Unfortunately many things in this film very much feel like the setting is 1997 instead of 1912! I guess the horrible 1990s (a time when silly pop concert music was everywhere, and short, thin bodies with heads of blonde hair and giantic --or Titanic? foreheads was considered attractive) is not time to make a movie about a historical event. I am not saying that this film needs to be more like a documentary, but just keep it more historically accurate!

There is no way that these 1990s stereotype actors could ever pull off acting as characters from a 1912 historical event. Very little historical accuracy, and the focus is on romance (almost similar to "The Diary Of Anne Frank", without the 'artitistic' Black & White filming) which is simply intent on making money whenever the focus is romance. Remember what makes a high quality production; The large budget is only part of a film or TV show. What is also important is the writing quality, and the acting, among other things (such as unnoticeable budget-trimming methods). When I watch a high budget film, I always think "do I have a broken video game console or something?!; this video game appears to be broken, and my remote control for the video game is not responding."

And I guess so: I guess I am not one of those people that loves the song that goes along with the film: "Neeh Fah Where evah yew ah", or whatever. which has NOTHING to do with any historical event.

Reviewing The Adventures Of Pete And Pete:

This is an old article pending revision.

This show is quite dull and this is what bores me. The characters are goofy looking and some are scary looking.

I liked at first the characters "Artie: The Strongest Man in the WORLD!", the principal (Adam West), and the silly fact that Mrs. Wrigley has a metal plate in her head. This is actually quite sad, but at the same time it is made hilarious by the fact it can be used as a radio antenna... and this metal plate is what caused her to meet her husband.

but like I mentioned before the characters, and the entire setting, is quite dull. We have the headache of a theme song (no I am NOT a fan of liberal arts indie rock or-whatever-it's-called) with equally mediocre soundtrack. There is a young girl character with a cast on her wrist, yet she is not injured. (but the actress probably was injured). There are very annoying stereotypical bullies: Open Face?! Pit Stain?! just to name a few of them. Little Pete is too young for tattoos and he is quite disturbing. I believe I already mentioned how dull the setting is. I am guessing this show is a 90s parody of the 50s. and so HOW is this interesting?!

Set in New York (any other setting would be illegal), but filmed in New Jersey. And it began with mini episodes and then a few years later began a three-year series. (They are much younger in the mini epiosdes) After a while, kids grow up and we don't want any Air Bud situations so that is why they cancelled it. (yes i know this series was made before Air Bud's characters grew up but still Air Bud is the perfect example) The annoying factors make it bad, and the bad makes the show look worse. It's probably why Artie left the show.

Reviewing Straw Dogs:

This is an old article pending revision.
Also, this is a review of the newer Straw Dogs film.

I unfortunately watched this film at other people's houses. They were expecting Paranormal Activity but that disc was scratched or something. (Isn't technology wonderful?!) They really need to start releasing films on Hard Drives, preferably Solid State Disks, instead of DVD/BluRay/Whatever

And so the movie rental people were like "we are out of paranormal activity; try this instead" and so we all watched.

my explanation, not that you care, of why I would bother with a film that I didn't like.

Right before I wrote this review I learned that this is a remake. (Hey, I can't know Everything!) and the original actually sounds much more interesting than the remake because the remake is set in U.S.A. in Mississippi (but resembles Alabama) with some silly Hollywood stereotype couple with acting that I didn't like, but I am still not sure if they are SUPPOSED to be like that, so it might be the characters that are silly instead of the acting being silly.

And the nice rich Hollywood people go Alamaba ... I mean Mississippi to live in their inherited old McMansion. Awww, how nice! (barf) but if I were them, I would sell the place in an instant...especially if there was trouble brewing in the black cauldron of redneckville. perhaps they were going to renovate it first and THEN sell it to see if it would increase the value of it before they sell it. (I mean, why live in a place with bad cell phone reception?!) They hire a crew to renovate the house because the guy is too wimpy to complete the repairs himself. But these super tough guys are able to do the repairs, and cause issues (because the husband dude is wimpy) Husband Dude's wimpiness also causes marriage problems with Wife Wifely. And then the king of the tough guys tries to flirt with Wife and Wife decides to flirt back. In the version that I watched it was edited out, and I am surprised. The movie gets interesting albeit dull and it would be nice to watch the stupid people cause drama with each other. Perhaps the woman would end up with King Tough Guy and it would be a happy ending...

but this is a horror film and so anyways the locals are very religious, and they also like to hunt (they like to hunt Husband Dude) and AW the poor cat gets hung up in the closet.

and then the Wimpy Husband Dude has them set a bear trap, in their house! which is quite silly. They hang it up, but that is still very silly.

And then the movie gets darker and darker. The guys take turns at raping the woman. I read that there is criticism that she enjoyed it? but if they were together before, she probably did! and so she was having mixed feelings about it, which is why she did not tell her husband. you know...the guy that jumpropes?

they go to a small town event and this girl walks off with this mentally disabled guy. He is apparently too rough with the women. So I am guessing that all the red neck men are all abusive?! Really... Every One of the redneck men in this film are all abusive! And in a sense the wimpy guy is abusive also, by simply jumping rope (in front of his wife too!).

And Spoiler: the mentally disabled guy kills the girl by muffling her. (She does not say "I won't yell, but move your hand from my nose!") and then they run him over after he dumps the body.

Husband and Wife take the man to their place, and all the drunks (including the girl's father) demand his release. They break in and one of them gets oil and hot water thrown at him, another gets shot, another one gets nailed to the house, and the worse one of all. (But probably the best scene to most people) the wimpy guy takes the bear trap and traps King Tough Guy's head in it. He dies of quite a slow death.

Where are the police? They were shot too. (by the drunks)

All the bad guys are killed, the house and barns burn down, and Wimpy Guy has full insurance on his vehicles and buildings and land, and gets to cash in on the destruction.

Now for Straw Dogs 2: Rise Of The Zombie Werewolves, starring King Tough Guy (Alexander Skarsgard), costarring Taylor Lautner.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Reviewing Totally Spies:

This is an old article pending revision.

This is one of the best more recent animated TV series. It was not made in the 1980s but it is just as good as some of the cartoons made in the 1980s and earlier.

This brings hope for modern TV shows, the majority of which suck. This show is unique. It is not the stereotypical TV series.

It is produced by Marathon, a French company even though it looks like it is Japanese. I like Japanese TV shows. Most them are very high quality, and some look even BETTER than CGI. They also have all the eccentricities of some of the animes. These include exaggerated sweating, crying, and tempers. There was one time when Clover was so angry she caught fire and they had to dump water on her!

I also like Marathon because the quality of its programming resembles Filmation. It even has a production credit before the epsiodes start, just like the "Filmation Presents" of the 1980s. And the sounds and animation in the Marathon production credit is impressive.

The characters:

Sam is the leader with long red hair. She is an intellectual. Clover has blonde hair and is artistic. She is the grouchiest spy. Alex has black hair and she is athletic. She is the nicest spy. Jerry is their boss and at one time they were assisted by G.L.A.D.I.S. (whenever she felt like it) They work for the extremely large World Organization Of Human Protection. (a great ackronym, which included the "Of". I hate it when people leave that out in ackronyms.) Mandy and her friends are their rivals but usually they are not villians LOL.

I think that the characters resemble The PowerPuff Girls, only much better. They are very similar except Clover has Buttercup's personality and Alex has Bubbles's personality, but Clover has Bubbles's appearance while Alex has Buttercup's appearance. I guess you  could say that Mandy is similar to Princess. Also many people think that this is an animated version of Charlie's Angels.

The show contains excellent animation, music, writing, and characters. The first episodes aren't that interesting to watch. They should have given the show more thought before releasing it. The "Totally Spies" logo was a dull chrome before they "painted" it pink later on. And the characters should have had more eccentric personalities in the first episodes.

I like the gadgets that they have. This show is very creative because they introduce so many gadgets, and they are disguised as common cosmetics supplies. In season 3 they added G.L.A.D.I.S. which means Gadget Lending And Distribution Interactive System. This is a very clever name and I always enjoyed the smart aleck robot. She should not have left. They should not have written her out. Some viewers apparently thought she got in the way of Jerry. On the contrary. I think because Jerry invented G.L.A.D.I.S. it shows how much of an expert that he is because he is capable of inventing useful robots, and the fact that G.L.A.D.I.S. clearly has a mind of her own means that he can create robots that are self-aware.

The villians are nice also. They have the usual diabolical laughter which is great, but  the villians are unique and even crazier than just their laughter. And a few of the villians are actually really scary. As for the plots, the spies go onto missions that often match the theme of an all girl spy team with gadgets disguised as cosmetics. (plants that knock out men, a jealous manicure artist wanting to destroy competition, etc.)

So what if this is not a true Anime?! It is still dubbed into Japanese.

Reviewing Horton Hears A Who, Original 1970 Adaptation:

This is an old article pending revision:

Chuck Jones was an animator for Looney Tunes, and later an animation
director. About halfway into his career, he began to do two things:
become the caretaker of classic cartoons and bring them from theater to
television, as well as make more cartoons...

...and bring stories from books to animation. He did this with Dr.
Seuss, and was very successful with How The Grinch Stole Christmas.
Chuck Jones went crazy with The Grinch, making him truly diabolical
with his facial expressions and very crooked teeth. The choice of songs
was great, and they blended in perfectly without being annoying.

Chuck Jones returns four years later to produce Horton Hears A Who. I
don't know why it wasn't made in 1967 or sometime earlier. I am
guessing that Chuck Jones was too busy making The Bear That Wasn't (a
book) and a film about The Phantom Tollbooth (another book) ....if
Chuck Jones took a little time to make a Dr. Seuss special each year,
there would have been more of them made. Horton Hears A Who was the
last Dr. Seuss special to be made by Chuck Jones, as his distributor
MGM shut down the production. A sequel, which I have dubbed "Dr. Whoovy
Hears A Who!" remained unfinished and unreleased. Also very
interesting, is that Eugene Poddany is the music composer. Chuck
Jones's main music composer had been Dean Elliott ever since 1965, and
yet Eugene Poddany did the music and was scheduled to do the music for
Dr. Whoovy Hears A Who, and also wrote songs for "The Cat In The Hat
Song Book".

By the 1970s, the music was much more similar to Dean Elliott, so he
became the music composer for several years beginning with The Cat In
The Hat, which production started at MGM but ended up being finished by
DFE Films And after that, DFE became the producer for many years.
After detailed observation of the credits of these specials, it appears
that Chuck Jones was invited back to co-produce them with more freedom
than he had with The Cat In The Hat, but he declined...and instead
worked on books from George Selden and Rudyard Kipling. (A Very Merry
Cricket, Rikki-Tikki-Tavi, etc) If you are familiar with Chuck Jones,
you can see some of his production styles in this Dr. Seuss special,
which often clash with Dr. Seuss's.

Also, the music is by Eugene Poddany. He
does not do well in this special. He did much better in How The Grinch
Stole Christmas, but the music in Horton Hears A Who is almost
non-existent. This is the biggest, and perhaps the only, problem with
the special. It really makes it outdated. At the same time, I gave this
a ten star rating. It deserves to be treasured forever, and not simply
boxed with How The Grinch Stole Christmas. As for the picture quality,
it is excellent. They did a great job with shading and mixing all the
ink and paint. (and at the same time...Filmation is regarded as a
budget trimming production company, but they are NOT the only ones.
Chuck Jones did the same thing...with reusing the same segments again
and again, even from How The Grinch Stole Christmas!!) ....DFE did the
same thing when it came to trimming budgets...they did a lot of panning
and zooming.

AND it shows. In the credits, there isn't much more production staff in
a TV special of that era than there is in a theatrical cartoon short in
that era. This means that they used less production staff. Less
animators, and also fewer voice actors (they sang also) We get to see
Hans Conreid as the narrator for Horton Hears A Who. He also narrated
Dr. Seuss On The Loose and Halloween Is Grinch Night. (Hans Conreid is
also the voice of Horton, and in Halloween Is Grinch Night he is The
Grinch) later specials, there is Allen Sherman as The Cat In The
Hat, Bob Holt as various people, and in almost every Dr. Seuss story
there is Thurl Ravenscroft as one of the singers.

Interestingly enough, June Foray was a voice actor for Dr. Seuss
cartoons but left when Chuck Jones did.

What is this cartoon about, and how well did they tell it? It is about
an elephant, on a tropical island. He was hot so he decided to cool off
in a "pool" (river/lake) A dust speck is caught in the wind, and
Horton's giant ears  hears a cry for
help. Horton saves them from drowning in the water and puts them on a
pink dandelion. There is a microscopic civilization in a dust speck,
who are unable to travel past their thick atmosphere. Dr. Whoovy,
professor of Science is able to communicate with the outside
world...barely. If it had not been for Horton's giant ears they all
would have died because nobody could hear them.

Jane Kangaroo and her son don't see how anybody could live inside the
dust speck. She says she doesn't hear any voices, and that Horton
doesn't either. She has a pair of magnifying glasses, which could not
detect any people. They believe that Horton is crazy (and always has
been) and has just now "flipped his lid" and something must be done
before becoming dangerous. They get a second opinion from Misses
Toucanella, who agrees and they warn everybody. Rumors grow and grow
about Horton's insanity. The birds don't try to harm Horton or the dust
speck. Instead, they flee.

Jane on the other hand, consults The Wikersham family, who are a bunch
of  lemurs. and a "Black-Bottomed Bird" who want
to grab and destroy the dust speck.

At the same time, Dr. Hoovey has to deal with his own group of
non-believers. Almost all of them dismiss him from being reputable.
They start singing and mocking Dr. Whoovey and the song is hilarious.
There is a character with a very high pitched voice asking What an
elephant is.

They change their minds once The Black Bottomed Bird drops the
dandelion with the dust speck on it. He believes it has been destroyed
and can't be found, and unknowingly almost kills them. Horton follows
and picks EVERY filled of flowers, and three billion flowers later

anyways...Horton finds them and they survived the crash. the Whos in
Whoville, (A name that Dr. Seuss gives to every person that he does not
want to name, as this is also been done in How The Grinch Stole
Christmas) now believe that whenever Dr. Whooveey says disaster will
happen, it will indeed happen.

They other people of the jungle decided to fry the dust speck and the
clover flower that it sits on, and they tie and lock up Horton,
believing he is dangerous and a radical politician. The Whos decide to
make as much noise as possible to get through the atmosphere and then
Dr. Whooovey finds JoJo, who makes a small but sufficient noise to make
the sounds more louder and easily heard.

This is where it gets very silly. The angry rioters that were probably
going to cook and eat Horton after they cooked the dust speck and
flower, are now able to hear the Whos. They are VERY quickly calmed
down and now say "They ARE There...AwwWwWwww How Cute!! Tiny People!!!!
We have to tell the news about this!! Let's try to pet the tiny
people!!" No apologies to Horton, but they do throw a parade at the
request and direction of Jane. And the frightened birds all came back
to admire the Whos. They drop Horton off at home, and then they don't
bother Horton or the Whos after that.

To make things even crazier, Dr. Hooovieee stumbles onto his own dust
speck, which is crying out for help. He catches it, but then becomes
very afraid of it. This is what MOST LIKELY ended up being the plot
device for the unreleased sequel.

Reviewing Tattletales:

This is an old article pending revision.

Excuse me but I have to Correct something... it is hosted by Bert Convy. BERT Convy with a E and not U. (and if I may add... The 1970s were awesome. TV, music, etc. lol)

now on to what I was going to say.

I don't know why this show didn't last as long as other game shows. It is a very neat game show and it reminds me of a crude TMZ show. If I was old enough to have watched TattleTales when it first aired, I would say to young "whippersnappers" that "we had TattleTales not TMZ".

Also I can imagine tuning into TattleTales every day and it was probably a very interesting thing in the 1970s. but it should have lasted a lot longer than it did. And the shorter 1980s version is not the same. I like the 1970s theme song much better. I also like the 1980s theme song, but it would be better as a theme for another game show instead of replacing the original TattleTales theme.

BERT Convy is the host for most episodes and panelist for other episodes. He is dead now so if they ever revived this show it would not have Bert Convy hosting it. If they did bring it back they should at least care about the show but I doubt that because most everything else on TV today is 110% garbage. Anyways, Bert Convy did a great job hosting and was a unique game show host because he sometimes has a ruthless sense of humor.

The set design was unique. It was an "arena" divided into four colors. The stage is green, and the audience was divided into Red, Yellow, and Blue and were "rooting" for a pair of celebrities guessing the Correct answer. Yellow was nicknamed "banana" and I am not sure if the other colors were nicknamed.

Most game shows of the 1960s were blue-ish, and they had barely evolved from a radio show...every person was sitting behind a desk, and the sets did not have any running lights. This is okay with most people, because they are thrilled that the game shows are in color. In the mid 1970s, most game shows began to transition to annoying gold, beige, brown, and green colored sets with giant globe-shaped incandescent running lights. The 1980s game show sets are much better. But when TattleTales aired, the different colors of the game show arena made it a lot better to watch, instead of the boring earth-toned colors.

The only problem I see with this game show is that the prize winners are members in the audience. Does each member in a rooting section get the amount that their team won? or is that divided equally among 1/3 of the audience?! Because if so, that does not seem like a lot of money. Bert Convy said "We're going to put an extra $100.00 USD in the pot for the winning team and their rooting section." BIG DEAL.

But it is still an enjoyable show to watch that should have aired longer and needs to be brought back. (without destroying its legacy of course)

Reviewing Judge Judy:

This is an old article pending revision.

Daytime TV used to be filled with game shows and people that competed against each other got along great, while winning money for being smart.

Now we have people fighting with each other.

There are lots of court shows, and none of the others can match Judge Judy. She is a sarcastic, wise, (and often rude) judge and she gives you important tips. She is not a conversationalist and unlike other TV judges she wants to get to the point and get the hearing done. She does not want to hear the life story of everybody, and she does not want to talk about the weather. She usually keeps the audience quiet.

Her catch phrases are great, such as calling people morons, idiots,  "I'm SPEAKING! I'm SPEAKING! You don't have on your listening ears!", "Coulda Woulda Shoulda", "'UM' is not an answer!", and the best one: "I don't care."

This is the best of the genre, but still annoying to watch a bunch of people fight with each other. There are a few times she was unfair and stated defamatory information on TV about people which really did not have anything to do with the case and they can't sue Judge Judy because they signed "You Can't Sue Us" papers before appearing. I mean those people she talked about were the witnesses, not litigants!

She is probably being paid extra to be so rude. I hear she is the complete opposite when she is not in her courtroom.

100th Post:

100th Post!

Reviewing Now You See It 1974:

This is an old article pending revision.

There are many game shows that are similar to Wheel Of Fortune and Jeopardy! Yet they have not lasted nearly as long as them. This is one of those game shows. It is a word search game show. It doesn't seem to have the same feel as hangman-based Wheel Of Fortune, but it is more like (if not better than) Jeopardy! I don't know why this didn't catch on. This is actually quite futuristic for a 1970s game show. It is also preserved really good, which is not something very common in 1970s daytime TV shows, many of which are for the most part, preserved in Black & White. The set resembles a game show of an early 1980s game show. There is neon everywhere on the set, and the game board appeared to look futuristic because it lit up. (It also reminds me of the futuristic rear projection screens on Barry-Enright shows) and also on the final round they have a computer to circle the words. The game show host is friendly, witty, can ad-lib and have conversations, and whatever else that game show hosts back then did. (also, Pat Sajak is not as friendly as he looks either) The game of Now You See It has excellent music that matches the time period (Chump Change or something) instead of stupid ukuleles. The opening has suspense in it and this is one of those game shows you have to know things. There needs to be more game shows!! This is why people in the U.S.A. are getting stupider, and they will easily lose in a game show. People back then were inspired and motivated to learn things because they could participate in a game show and win money for being smart!! And now daytime TV is filled with people suing each other. Go figure.

Reviewing Wings NBC:

This is an old article pending revision.

I don't like planes at all. And I also don't like the silly tiny airport that it is set in.

Despite the setting, the characters are extremely likeable and the show is very well written. I love the music and I also love that it is cannon with Cheers and Frasier.

The setting is in a tiny airport on Tom Nevers Field, Nantuckett. They have two tiny airlines and a diner. Roy owns the larger airline and has a larger staff, and Joe owns the smaller one with just one plane and one helichopper. Helen owns a diner and Lowell appears to be the only mechanic that not only works for both airlines but also assists Helen. Lowell is written out and gets replaced by another mechanic that disappears mid-season.

Alex is a helichopper pilot and Brian is a copilot and Casey is an architecture student that works at the diner. and Antonio is a cab driver. Fay sells tickets for Sandpiper Airlines. Sandpiper Airlines is Joe's (And to Joe's annoyance, Brian's) service, and Aeromass is the larger service that is owned by Roy. There is a larger staff with ticket counter associates, and pilots...but they are background characters. The rivals appear to be the ferryboats. Nantuckett is an overpriced place to live.

There are hilarious incidents such as Brian & Casey burning down Joe & Helen's house. The next year Joe & Helen burns down Brian & Casey's house. There is a guy named Carlton (William Hickey) that appears every year. He is an old man that asks tons of annoying questions and gets Joe & Brian into trouble. Sandy Cooper is Joe's ex (or crush) from High School, and she is a very successful person. She uses this disguise to hide her crush for Joe and she has a very calm and pleasant personality and as a result, everybody else doesn't mind being around her. ... except Joe. When she and Joe are alone together she acts completely insane. She sets up prom, wedding, honeymoon, "Joey Bear Junior", and even dates Brian.

Amy Yasbeck's real world husband at the time was John Ritter. John Ritter appeared in this show as Casey's ex-husband. It is hilarious how she gets revenge, until it backfires on her.

More interesting facts about NBC's Wings situation comedy is that Discovery aired around the same time a series also named "Wings" AND the logos are similar.

I like how Wings (NBC) has an enjoyable ensemble of characters and that is the most important fact of the show that makes it worth watching.

Some issues with the show:

The planes, but I already mentioned that.

Lowell leaving. I don't think they should have written him off as being sent away to the Witness Protection Program. Instead, they should have saved the episode where Lowell demands more money and nobody wants to give him a raise. So he looks for jobs in Boston and Antonio says no matter what, keep playing along until they give into your demands. Nobody does and he actually faces having to move. Since they did not use this episode to write him out of the show, I am not sure if he got the kids or if Bunny did. Either way it is very sad for the kids and it is sad for the entire TV Show plot. Lowell's replacement mechanic also suspiciously disappeared without ANY explanation. I have one: That guy probably was a CIA agent who leaked information and was hunted to death by The U.S. Government.

There is this DUMB Photograph! There is a photograph that was in the first season... I think the pilot episode. It is a photograph of The Hackett Brothers as children. This photograph seems to be the most important element of the show. It appeared once again when Brian and Casey burned down Joe and Helen's house. It seems like every time that The Hackett Brothers (or anybody else) have a fight where they are about stop speaking to each other and to go their seperate ways, this photograph shows up and magically patches things up like drugs. What a dumb photograph! Is this the ONLY photograph of their childhood?! Do not believe the photograph; It will NOT bring world peace.

A fourth issue. I taped it on Wings when it was on Nick at Nite. It was also on TV Land. I am not sure about how they messed with Wings on TV Land, but at least I remember that Nick at Nite cut into the end segment of the show with their usual STUPID things that they have to say. They do this to edit out the credits because "they aren't important", but later they cut out the beautiful sunset on water, and replaced the closing segment with credits on top of it. The original airing of shows of that time period and onward has this closing segment either airing

before the credits, and then having a scaled down ad playing during the credits, with the credits arranged in a column at the edge of the screen.

OR they scaled down the closing segment and put the credits at the edge of the screen.

The original episode is recorded somehow (filmed or taped or whatever) ... with the closing credits and the credits show up on top of the closing segment (similar to some episodes of Roseanne) but they are appear in the Lower Thirds.

So ... the point is that it is bad enough that a network announcer yaks and yaks and you can't hear the end theme music, It is even WORSE if the Nick at Nite guy yaks and yaks and yaks when the show ISN'T playing the end theme music. They network actually cut off scenes towards the end of the show  WHILE THE CHARACTERS WERE STILL TALKING and it is VERY annoying. This is not the show's fault. It is the networks. But I HAD to point out that I prefer watching the rest of the episode instead of "Stay Tuned for our next episode, but for now, enjoy seven seconds of our dancing logo!" ... um. How about watching the rest of the episode INSTEAD of some idiot dancing around in a Nick @ Nite costume?!

Reviewing this show, I no longer want to add it to my "DVD" Collection. I DESPIZZzZZzZzZzZE That Photograph, And the cheap sendoff of Lowell (and his replacement who also disappeared), to make me no longer want the complete series.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

The Roseanne Show:

This is an old article pending revision.

In the 1980s, a show was in development called "Life And Stuff" created by Matthew Williams. It was later transformed into "Roseanne" after Roseanne became the star of the show. It is about a group of people living in northern Illinois, in an area of the United States that few would ever want to live in. It gets very cold there, and it is very isolated. It is loosely based on the 1980s economic struggle for a working class region made of small towns where most jobs are at factories. The city of Lanford Illinois (with snapshots from Indiana towns) is fictionally located just off a highway with very little promises. It begins with a struggling family and community that slowly overcomes many things and achieve moderate success.

The house they live in is spacious, generally clean, but tacky, with not only carpets, but dirty carpets, dirty furniture, and usually dated appliances (eventually getting more, such as a portable dishwasher). The converted sun porch housing a laundry room realistically describes many houses with additions. There is a detached garage. There are two bedrooms upstairs and an unfinished basement with an added room. You can get to the basement from a door opposite the wall with the thermostats on them. You almost never see this door except for the opening segments. Most of the time the people entering and exiting the basement are seen going outside or coming inside. The master bedroom has a ceiling fan. Jackie at first rents upstairs single room apartments and then living with her sister or mother before purchasing a slightly smaller house (single story but with a basement).The neighbor's house is identical in design except for newer appliances and built in shelves. Roseanne complains when she sees the shelves at the house and also being installed at Jackie's new house, asking Dan why he has never installed shelves like that (although her house does in fact have these shelves).

Dan Conner is an independent construction contractor. He purchases a motorcycle business, but it fails, and becomes a supervising mechanic for the City Of Lanford. Roseanne is a factory employee, walking out after refusing to meet unachievable quotas. She tries several jobs until working as a beauty parlor assistant. There is an extra position at a restaurant that she takes, until it is closed down. They face poverty until they open up their own restaurant. Jackie has numerous jobs including walking out of the same factory, and becoming a police officer, and then a truck driver.

Here is some more information about more of the characters. A lot of the characters are included, but not all of them because there are too many of them:

Roseanne Harris Conner: Played by Roseanne Barr Pentland Arnold Thomas, is the mother of three children, and later four, which is common of family situation comedies to have families have more children in the middle of the series run where the parents are middle age. The actors on Roseanne were pregnant and this was written into the show. Their children did not make appearances. Roseanne Conner married Dan Conner, which both of them went to the same school. She is thankful to have a very supportive husband. She had a traumatic childhood with two unsupportive parents which is a method that she promises not to use that severe level of punishment on her children.

Dan Conner (John Goodman) is Roseanne's husband. He had a similar childhood. His mother had severe depression and memory problems which results in her being institutionalized for many of the seasons. Dan blames this on his father not being around. Both of their fathers were traveling salesmen.

Jackie Harris is not sure what her real name is, it could be Jackie, or it could be Marjorie, or it could be Mary Jane. She is played by Laurie Metcalf. She has problems in selecting a career (but is not that apparent since she has the same amount of careers as other characters) She is a business partner and employee at The Lanford Lunch Box. She also has very difficult relationships with men. Jackie claims to have slept with over 60 men, and her mother claims that the list of men around that she hasn't slept with is much shorter. Roseanne says that Jackie later became gay after many dates, relationships, some abusive, and a failed marriage. It is also possible that her father's torture on them resulted in a fear of men.

Fred (Michael O'Keefe) is Jackie's husband and father of her first child. They have a boy named Andy. Jackie does not trust Fred, but Fred insists on being a part of their lives. They later find themselves incompatible with each other, and separate. Fred's last name is not known.

Crystal Anderson Conner (Natalie West) is a good friend of Roseanne that becomes in-laws to Jackie and Roseanne and stepmother to Dan. She has 3 children, 2 with Ed.

Ed Connor Sr. (Ned Beatty) is the father of Dan, who later married Crystal. They have two children together, a boy and a girl. Dan's worries are confirmed when Ed is "working" and is not around while Crystal manages by herself.

Dan's mother is played by Ann Wedgeworth and Debbie Reynolds.

Darlene Conner Healey (Sara Gilbert) has hair that is "wild and out of control" that played basketball, but quit after experiencing teenage depression. She is an author, just like her mother, and goes to a writing institute and also writes comics, usually dark-themed. She became an animal activist and a vegetarian, which affects The Lunch Box. She falls in love with a guy and they have a daughter together (Harris) who is a premature baby that almost dies.

Johnny Galecki plays the part of a guy that becomes Darlene's boyfriend. He is introduced as Kevin, but later as David. (his intended name was David, but at the time Galecki was in another show as David.) David is explained as a false name that Darlene forces him to use. David has very little in common with his parents, and finds a new home with the Conners. He shares a room wit D.J., because he is not to sleep in the same room with Darlene until they became married. David works at a pizzeria, and is a very talented artist that has to turn down a tour of Europe, and wants to attend an overcrowded art school run by a Disney style "Hans The Hare" theme park. He is a illustrator for Darlene. He appears to be very innocent but is not liked by Dan because he thought that David was looking down at him.

Becky Conner Healey ends school early, does not go to college immediately, instead, Mark unfortunately gets laid off because Lanford Custom Cycle closed; he moves, and Becky responds by marrying him and running away with him. She is portrayed by Alicia (Lecy) Goranson, but Goranson attends a university herself, making it difficult for her to play the part of Becky. Later she is replaced by Sarah Chalke. She is younger than Gilbert and unlike Goranson, Chalke always has the same hairstyle. Sara Chalke starred in the better part of two seasons (beginning in season 6) an then alternating with Lecy Goranson in Season 8. She also plays other characters. In season 9 she takes over as Becky because Roseanne was not expected to be renewed for a 9th season and Goranson did not return after that. She is pregnant at the end of the series.

Mark Healey (Glenn Quinn) is the less respectable Healey brother. Dan Conner hires him to work at his bike shop and later at the Lanford Garage. He is hiding low self esteem and a low outlook on life. Roseanne does not like him very much. He enjoys teaming up with D.J. to pick on David.

David Jacob or D.J. Conner was played by Sal Barone. Being too young, and the possibility of himself and Sara Gilbert not getting along, he was replaced by Michael Fishman (who appears to be younger than Sal Barone) D.J. Is an odd ball, and is being tortured by his older sister, especially by Darlene.

Heather Matarazzo becomes D.J.'s girlfriend when he became older. She and D.J. films things.

Nancy Bartlett (Sandra Bernhard) is anoter good friend of Roseanne. She and Arnie fight with each other, which they find attractive at the same time. They get married, but then they break up. She later becomes bisexual which is blamed on Arnie. She opens a small restaurant with Roseanne and Jackie.

Arnie Thomas is played by Tom Arnold. He was abducted by aliens because Tom Arnold got is own show "The Jackie Thomas Show." which The Conners become guest stars on, and then take over the show because they want free prizes.

Beverly Loraine Harris "Non-Alcoholic-Beverage" (Estelle Parsons) is the neglectful mother of Roseanne and Jackie that eventually becomes cheerful but annoying. She cuts her hair short enough to where Jackie and Roseanne believe she is wearing a wig. She grows it back out for the last 3 seasons, but she wore hats during that time until near the 8th season Finale. She provides for her daughters: When she gets new furniture, she gives them her old furniture, she gives tem her old vehicles when she buys new ones, she helps Roseanne with her bills, helps Jackie pay for a house, gives them even more money to fund the restaurant by becoming their fourth business partner. They want her to not work there after one year, so she sold her share to Leon. She becomes a lesbian, but Roseanne says she really isn't. Beverly does not know who her father is.

Al Harris (John Randolph) is Roseanne and Jackie's father. She has seen anoter woman. When he died, Roseanne decides the best thing to do is forget him and all the terrible things he did when raising them.

Mary "Nanna Mary" (Shelley Winters) is Roseanne's grandmother. Her last name is not known. She lives outside of town.

Art is an accountant played by Dan Butler who starts out as a potential customer at Lanford Custom Cycle. He advised them on other things such as whether or not to add a tattoo parlor. He and Jackie briefly dated.

Stan Freberg plays the part of a manager that got fired over and over again as a result of The Conners.

Anne Marie Mitchell (Adilah Barnes) and Chuck Mitchell (James Pickens, Jr.) are friends of Dan and Roseanne.

Bob (John McConnell), whose last name is also unknown, works at The Lanford City Garage. He is a substitute character for Arnie's wackiness.

Leon Carp (Martin Mull) was Roseanne's boss at one time, and then got a job as a health inspector. He inspected The Lanford Lunch Box, and a year later starts working there after being chosen by Beverage to replace her, and wants to take over entirely. He got married to Scott (Fred Willard) later in the show. Martin Mull and Fred Willard are known for co-starring in different shows together. When they aren't, they usually play similar characters, such a school principals.

Bonnie L. Watkins is Roseanne's coworker. They have worked during the same shift together. She leaves the series after the restaurant closes down. She does not join Roseanne, Jackie, Nancy, and Beverage when they start another restaurant. Instead she tour the country with her band, sometimes with very small audiences. She is portrayed by Andrea Walters, an later by singer and performer Bonnie (Sheriden) Bramlett.

There are several neighbors. A Shelley Long look-alike is one of them, who is very uptight. Employment issues and Katy's unhappiness leads to them moving. The new neighbor is a single parent named Ty Tilden (Wings Houser) with daughters Molly (Danielle Harris) and Charlotte (Mara Hobel). These two daughters are similar to Becky and Darlene, and are almost identical younger versions of Roseanne and Jackie. The Tildens and The Conners all travel together in a "toilet" with Jackie and Ty driving. Jackie surprisingly does not seem to be interested in Ty.

Cole Roberts stars a Jerry Garcia Conner and Garrett Hazen and Kent Hazen are stars of Andy. Lonnie Anderson is portrayed by Luke Edwards, Kristopher Kent Hill, and John C. Williams. George Clooney is a guest star in the earlier episodes.

Laurie Metcalf and Sara Gilbert co-star with Johnny Galecki in "The Big Bang Theory", on CBS. "Roseanne" aired on ABC, which is a subsidiary of Disney. The issues that The Conners face on Roseanne do not match Disney or ABC programming. This is made known by adding hilarious segments with a network executive meeting with Roseanne saying to not mention "inappropriate" phrases. He says that it will never make it to production. This person does not know that the meeting is being filmed the entire time. One episode presents "That's Our Rosie!", filmed in "black and white" to compare Roseanne with early television programming. Guest appearances include Loretta Lynn as herself, and Florence Henderson and Ellen Degeneres.

Cheers - Where Everybody Knows Your Name:

This is an old article pending revision.

"Cheers" is a television series that takes place in a bar which is at the basement of a building that has a restaurant and hotel. You have to enter Cheers outside by going down a flight of stairs, or on the inside by going down a flight of stairs through the restaurant. There is a full size office area, with a back room that Sam says is an area equipped for anybody to survive for a very long time if they are trapped. There is a wine cellar, and a room that people play pool in. The bar is modeled after the Bull & Finch pub.

Sam Malone is a former Baseball player that buys a popular bar and turns it into a sports bar. He is very similar to Charlie Harper, which both of them appear to be unable to have long term relationships with women. Sam does pursue long term relationships with some of the main characters, but they break up in a few years. He is played by Ted Danson.

Carla Maria Victoria Angelina Teresa Apollonia Lozupone Tortelli LeBec played by Rhea Perlman, usually has very poofy hair, and as a result, has been commented that she looks the same whether she has make up on or not, and her hair practically styles itself. She is a waitress for the entire run of Cheers, and expresses herself as being usually very sarcastic, and often rude. She can be compared to the characteristics of Darlene Conner Healey on "Roseanne". She has eight children, which are usually out of control. One of her ex-husbands is Nick Tortelli. Another ex-husband is a professional athlete just like Sam, and is named is Eddie LeBec (Jay Thomas). When Eddie dies, there is a very large mystery because Carla is not the only widow. She buys a house for a very low price, which is because it is at the end of a runway. She does not care, as long as it is not cursed. She is very superstitious.

Norm Peterson is an accountant. This Dan Conner look-alike also drinks beer, but seemingly more than anybody else. He has a tab at Cheers, and also is considered an employee when Cheers applied for Health insurance but does not have enough staff. He really does not work there, but is a daily visitor and enjoys sampling pretzels and alcoholic beverages, and one time he became an employee at a marketing company to sample different flavors of beer. He caves after an interview with the head of the company. Rebecca and Norm are friends, both having failed at many things. While Rebecca is very upset about her failures, Norm is usually laid back about his. They both enjoy ice cream after Rebecca introduces eating ice cream as a pastime, and continues to enjoy the kind of ice cream that is Rebecca's favorite. It quickly becomes his favorite flavor also. He is very sneaky, while getting hired with a different last name so he is able to collect unemployment checks and pay checks at the same time. He is an expert at interior design, and is an accountant, but usually does not work. His wife is employed full time. Her name is Vera (Bernadette Birkette), and is rarely seen onscreen. Norm loves Vera, but at the same time he constantly jokes about her. Everybody at Cheers (and also restaurants) literally knows his name, and shout it out whenever he enters saying "Good evening, everybody!!" He is portrayed by George Wendt.

Ernie Pantusso is played by Nicholas Colasanto. Ernie is Sam's Baseball coach. They both have retired, and ran Cheers together. Sadly, Nicholas died in1985, during the 3rd season. Unused stock footage was featured afterwards until the 4th season.

Diane Chambers (Shelley Long) is very intelligent, yet naïve. She finds a second home as a waitress at Cheers. She breaks up with Sam, has a long term relationship with Frasier Crane, and then again with Sam Malone. She leaves to pursue her career, and promised to return soon. Instead, she returns many years later.

Rebecca Howe is the owner of Cheers when the company that she works for purchased the bar after Sam sells it which is when Diane left. His vacation around the world ends very soon after his boat crashes. Rebecca transforms the sports bar into a lounge. She is an over achiever that is always wanting to impress wealthy men, including her executives. After discovering that one of her executives (which she is dating of course) is an embezzler, she eventually gets fired from the company due to lack of interest. Sam buys the bar back for a very low price, and also hires Rebecca as an assistant manager. He later faces problems with his upstairs neighbor, who has half of Cheers on the title of his restaurant. He forces Sam to pay rent, if he fails to do so, the hall to the public restrooms and pool room is barricaded. Rebecca intends to buy Cheers, this time all by herself, and Sam says that the bar is for sale for $25,000,000.00 but because of problems with the restaurant, Rebecca agrees to buy half of Cheers, not from Sam, but from the restaurant. They work together now, and sometimes separately, since Rebecca is filled with ideas. She wants to convert the pool room of Cheers into a tea room. When her tea room is unsuccessful, she drags a pot of Chili to the back of Cheers, but Sam accidentally destroys it by blowing up a pot of chili. She gets even with him by smashing the windows of his car. Rebecca's smoking addiction and the mistake of putting a cigarette in a trash can causes Cheers to burn, which she uses her life savings to restore the uninsured bar. She is a building superintendent, although one time locking herself out regardless. Kirstie Alley's character on Cheers appears to match her Vulcan character on Star Trek, which shields her emotions. Sam is curious to find out why. Rebecca suffers several emotional breakdowns; she is actually a very sensitive and vulnerable person that is recognized as a jinx that loses everything. She never won anything from a slot machine, unless it was rigged, which she got her coin back. The emotional side of her exists usually for comic purposes. The strict side of her character would be filled by increasing the appearances of Dr. Lilith Sternin.

Clifford C. Clavin (John Ratzenberger)works at the post office, and lived at home with his mother named Esther (Frances Sternhagen) until she moved to Florida after being paid to have her house demolished. He dated fellow postal worker Margaret O'Keefe (Annie Golden). He is annoying to most people and talks about various things.

Woody Boyd (Woody Harrelson)becomes a bartender in the 4th season, and is very literal-minded. He talks about life on a farm, from hilarious stories to disgusting ones. He falls in love with a wealthy girl named Kelley Gaines (Jackie Swanson). She leaves for France, and returns with a man named An-Re. Woody and Kelly get married, and even if they do not have the same backgrounds, they have very similar personalities.

Dr. Frasier Crane (Kelsey Grammer) is a psychiatrist that believes in psychoanalysis. He met Diane Chambers who was recovering from severe depression as a result of a fight and break up with Sam Malone. The character would later appear in his own series where he moved to Seattle, and talks of tossed salad and scrambled eggs.

Dr. Lilith Sternin (Bebe Neuwirth) is introduced as a rival to Frasier and later as a wife. Her personality also substitutes for the mean side of Rebecca Howe. She is very strict and serious and dresses professionally. She does laugh, and laughs at Cliff Clavin's jokes, since both of them know many things that others might not understand. Frasier once introduced himself to two women, and does not see his wife walk in. The customers flee after seeing her. She is a physiatrist that believes in behaviorism. She also does research on lab rats. Frasier and herself have a child toeter, named Frederick. She leaves to go on an eco-pod research project for space colonization. She leaves Frasier for one of the other scientists. They eventually resolve this problem, but eventually end up getting divorced. When Dr. Crane stars in his own show, Lilith does not move to Seattle with him. She stays behind and raises Frederick. Daphne claims to get migraines and that she senses evil as a result of Lilith's presence.

Paul Krapence is anoter barfly in Cheers. He spends much of his time being ignored by the other people. When Rebecca asked for somebody to talk to her when she needed advice, Paul goes in, and then comes back out, with Rebecca saying "Not Paul!!" He is portrayed by Paul Willson.

Phil and Al are two very old barflies. There is a fireman that gets tortured by the other people. His regular saying is "What are you doing?!". Harry Anderson played a character called Harry The Hat. He is a magician and con artist. Harry Anderson would later become a judge in the situation comedy "Night Court".

John Allen Hill (Keene Curtis)became the new owner of Melville' fine sea food. He discovers that half of Cheers on the title. He forces Sam Malone to pay rent and also uses Cheers as a waiting room. Rebecca's intent to buy the bar is helpful when she buys the half of Cheers that John is in charge of. She is rarely remembered for doing this, and is usually regarded as a lazy waitress. When Carla and John aren't arguing with each other, they are sleeping with each other.

Cheers has several spin off and related series.

"The Tortellis" is about Nick Tortelli (Dan Hedaya) and Loretta Tortelli (Jean Kasem). Nick is Carla's former husband. The series does not last very long; one of the reasons is because of stereotypes that the viewing audience did not like.

"Frasier" is about Dr. Frasier Crane, who moves from Boston to Seattle.

"Wings" is a series about an airport with two competing and rival airlines. It is at the nearby Nantucket, Massachusetts. John Ritter and Amy Yasbeck were formerly a couple in this series, and these two actors have played couples before in other series. There were two recurring characters, Carlton and Sandy. They appeared each year. There were also guest stars from Cheers, such as Frasier and Lilith, and also Rebecca Howe, who is still searching for rich men. The series is created by David Angell, Peter Casey, and David Lee, who were producers at Cheers.

"Becker" is a series starring Ted Danson, as a very grumpy doctor. It is not part of the same cannon, but of the same cannon of other CBS shows, such as The King Of Queens, COSBY, and Everybody Loves Raymond. Each of these series cast guest starred in each other's show.